How To Lose Weight at an Advertising Agency
Readers, be forewarned. This post was created for employees of the advertising industry. While I'm sure some instances can be applied to other fields of employment, please remember that I am writing from the world I know. It's not you, it's me.
Let's face it, losing weight sucks. Like, really sucks. You have to change your diet, fit exercise into your already packed schedule, and worst of all, survive a day at the office. That last part gets especially difficult when working in the all-you-can-eat buffet that is an advertising agency. With summer right around the corner, it's time for some military-grade tough love to keep that belly in check. Here are three rules to swear, maybe literally, by when gearing up for your workweek.
1. Sweets make creaks - No, the floorboards aren't that old, please stop blaming that noise on your house "settling in". The only things "settling in" are the underwear impressions around your gut. Sweets are awful for you, and using them as a stress relief is even worse! Did you know that one handful of M&M's is roughly 250 calories? I'll take that horrified look on your face as a no. Ditch the sweets and maybe you'll be able to walk around your duplex without waking the downstairs neighbor.
2. It's a desk, not an anchor - It's time to cut the cord. Don't worry, Momma, I'm not talking about you. I'm talking to YOU, Hunchback of Who-Gives-a-Damn! I know work should always come first, but you need to take a break from your computer and hold yourself accountable for your steps-per-day. How? Invest in a pedometer! Or, if you're like me and enjoy keeping your money, use the free MyFitnessPal app from Under Armour. The calorie counter comes with a built in pedometer that subtracts the calories you've walked from your personalized calorie budget, letting you reach your goals at a more comfortable pace. Get your keister up and move, bathing suit season will thank you later.
3. Water works - Despite what you may think, drinking Gatorade doesn't make you an athlete, and drinking Red Bull won't give you wings. You might get some free swag, but you should be aware your flyness (I'm actually surprised that word is in the dictionary) is purely superficial. Water, on the other hand, is free, doesn't come with any unnecessary sugars, and can give you that full feeling you've become so acquainted to. Here's the secret: drink a pint of water immediately before lunch and your meal will feel loads more filling. Keep drinking throughout the day to limit snacking and suppress urges. Boom, there you have it, no more appetite. When you feel like you're about to burst, kill two birds with one stone and walk your way to the bathroom. Don't forget to refill, maggot!
Woof, that was a lot of attitude. Changing gears here...
Let's face it, losing weight sucks. Like, really sucks. You have to change your diet, fit exercise into your already packed schedule, and worst of all, survive a day at the office. That last part gets especially difficult when working in the all-you-can-eat buffet that is an advertising agency. With summer right around the corner, it's time for some military-grade tough love to keep that belly in check. Here are three rules to swear, maybe literally, by when gearing up for your workweek.
1. Sweets make creaks - No, the floorboards aren't that old, please stop blaming that noise on your house "settling in". The only things "settling in" are the underwear impressions around your gut. Sweets are awful for you, and using them as a stress relief is even worse! Did you know that one handful of M&M's is roughly 250 calories? I'll take that horrified look on your face as a no. Ditch the sweets and maybe you'll be able to walk around your duplex without waking the downstairs neighbor.
2. It's a desk, not an anchor - It's time to cut the cord. Don't worry, Momma, I'm not talking about you. I'm talking to YOU, Hunchback of Who-Gives-a-Damn! I know work should always come first, but you need to take a break from your computer and hold yourself accountable for your steps-per-day. How? Invest in a pedometer! Or, if you're like me and enjoy keeping your money, use the free MyFitnessPal app from Under Armour. The calorie counter comes with a built in pedometer that subtracts the calories you've walked from your personalized calorie budget, letting you reach your goals at a more comfortable pace. Get your keister up and move, bathing suit season will thank you later.
3. Water works - Despite what you may think, drinking Gatorade doesn't make you an athlete, and drinking Red Bull won't give you wings. You might get some free swag, but you should be aware your flyness (I'm actually surprised that word is in the dictionary) is purely superficial. Water, on the other hand, is free, doesn't come with any unnecessary sugars, and can give you that full feeling you've become so acquainted to. Here's the secret: drink a pint of water immediately before lunch and your meal will feel loads more filling. Keep drinking throughout the day to limit snacking and suppress urges. Boom, there you have it, no more appetite. When you feel like you're about to burst, kill two birds with one stone and walk your way to the bathroom. Don't forget to refill, maggot!
Woof, that was a lot of attitude. Changing gears here...
I'm no fitness guru. I'm not even in that great of shape. I am, however, a person striving for a healthier lifestyle that has found success through the above dieting tactics. So far, I've lost 15 pounds in under 4 months. While I understand that that's no record, it is a step in the right direction.
You don't need to make massive changes to your daily lifestyle to reach your fitness goals. Surprisingly, just a few tweaks here and there can yield big results. If you're looking to lose some unwanted weight, consider the above. At the end of the day it's you versus you, and trust me, that's one hell of a fight.
You don't need to make massive changes to your daily lifestyle to reach your fitness goals. Surprisingly, just a few tweaks here and there can yield big results. If you're looking to lose some unwanted weight, consider the above. At the end of the day it's you versus you, and trust me, that's one hell of a fight.
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